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Anthology

by Mail Order Children

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1.
Blindfolded 01:55
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have you ever wondered, why is it me? with your face to the ground, yeah, its hard to see, and when nothing works, and it seems so unreal with your back to the door, and you're thinking you're blindfolded... thinking you're blindfolded... i never wanted, i never wanted more, all that i needed was just a second chance i never wanted, i never wanted more... than anything to be true, for more than a day when all of life's meaning keeps slipping away, and you're so damn sick, of this fucking world and you can't seem to cope 'cause you're thinking you're blindfolded... thinking you're blindfolded... i never wanted, i never wanted more, all that i needed was just a second chance i never wanted, i never wanted more than that... give me one more try, give me one more try, give me one more try, just to watch me fall, yeah... give me one more try, give me one more try, yeah... yeah ha... yeah ha, yeah ha, ha... i never wanted, i never wanted more, all that i needed was just a second chance i never wanted, i never wanted more than that.
2.
Numb 01:43
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another day, another knife in the back you know it's happened so much it's kinda hard to keep track, it's kinda hard to keep track of which, why, where, or when 'cause when it all comes down, ya know, it'll happen again so damn hostile, i think i'm sweating piss i guess it all comes down, yeah, it all comes down to (this) so many times, i'd like to wipe that smile off your face so many times, i just wonder, why me? is it my reasoning, or is it just the line: "…it's happened before…" you know, i don't even mind… and maybe i'll just dwell on it maybe, i'll just say... well, i guess i'll dwell on it, (yeah) think about it, everyday so many times, i'd like to wipe that smile off your face so many times, i just wonder, why me? is it my reasoning, or is it just the line: "…it's happened before…" you know, i don't even… you know, i don't even mind… i don't even mind… don't even mind… i don't even mind… god you know I don't even mind yeah, yeah yah... yesterday becomes tomorrow leaves you wanting more it's not your fault this deprivation has left me comfortably numb.
3.
360 Clique 01:39
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so sick of vicious circles only thing I see in this world this empty rewind hurdle how many times can I watch it go down? i lost myself again, don't know where or who I'm supposed to be i guess you wanted it fine, you got everything coming back to me and it doesn't seem to change no I do not seem to change it sempiternally weaving a web of time is just that... is just that we can't seem to see … that were writing our destiny fell down that hole again caught outside with all my senses behind left with frustration all that's left for me now is time and I cannot seem to tame no I cannot seem to tame it sempiternally weaving our web of time are we sure that, now to me? is just that we can't seem to see… that were writing our destiny just when I think that I'm one step ahead i look back at the hand that has kept me fed and i'm, three steps behind again and i think that this time, i'll get it 360 clique ain't so fun when you're trying and you live it every day.
4.
Runs Deep 01:51
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to everyone who has hurt me along the way... i thank you all you've made me a stronger man, my heart's become... a twisted ball of scars you left me with, no burden for regret it makes me wonder if i've ever even felt at all i think i just might, i think i just might i think i just might, give up and turn my back on trying i think i just might ignore the end, and find myself another place to sleep... i'm not sayin' i'd like to be taught, and i know i'm insane... but everyday i just try to pretend, remembering is making me weak... i think i just might, i think i just might i think i just might, give up and turn my back on trying i think i just might ignore the end, and find myself another place to sleep... i think i just might, i think i just might i think i just might, give up and turn my back on trying i think i just might ignore the end, and find myself another place to sleep... these ties that we're given, these ties won't make me fall these times that we're livin' in, it makes it tough, it makes it tough to care at all don't forget the promise you made, the promise you made to me... don't you forget the promise you made to find the lock and turn the key...
5.
That's Ok 02:15
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sit back, i’ve got a story to tell… this guy i knew before, he’s gone without a trace ‘cause if i turned my back, i know he’d slap my face he’d turn on me and rob me blind (in) a second if he could but i try to keep my guard up, even though it does no good ‘cause no matter what he does, i seem to let it slide no thinkin about the cause, the reason, or even the why? But i think the actual question is the reason that i’m after i can’t remember anything to justify or ask for this… i thought he was my friend, at least he was before but i guess that doesn’t mean much these days (since) our trust has gone awry can’t count on him for much, except to make a scene he can’t be real inside, he’s not a human being reasoned with myself and made up my own lies and i guess that’s why i’m continuously contemplating why i let him get so close, in heart he’s far away and i’ve closed my eyes to all of this & it really makes me want to say god damn, god damn, god damn how blind can i-i be? god damn, god damn, god damn why don’t i do something? god damn it, god damn it, god damn it i don’t need to take this god damn it, god damn it, god damn it h-how blind can i be? That’s OK man! Who’s to blame? it’s me be-cause i’ve let you back inside my door haven’t learned from the examples you’ve so clearly set before you emit something around you like a disease or something else why else would i let you slip so fucking easily by? Or maybe i-have-this hope internally without an end that people aren’t that fucked, especially with a friend but i’ve seen nothing at all in my life (to) give me any proof that you and me and all of us don’t try to hide the truth but if i give up-up-up, who’s gonna be there to say the benefit of the doubt isn’t quite the simplest way it’ll drag us down-down-down until we hit the floor then we’ll really wonder what the fuck all this was for find something for once in our lives it’s not about you, it’s not about you no we can’t just brush it away it’s not about me, it’s not about me find something once in our lives it’s not about you, it’s about you and me… That’s OK man! Who’s to blame? Me or you?
6.
Indecision 02:37
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check it out, check it out, check it out… when in doubt, don’t you dare come run to me i got no time, why can't you see... i’m not the one you wanna come askin’, not the one you’ll ever blame now you’re making me confused, and you’re lookin’ at me strange you can ask me twice, but my answer'll never change, see, you're making me confused, and you're lookin' at me strange everyone seems to be, so sure but me i can’t believe it, but that’s how it’s got to be and when i find, another stupid line go tell your children that they shouldn’t wonder why everyone seems to be, so sure but me it’s really simple, just take a look and see i’ve got no direction, not a single solid way no, it doesn’t seem to make sense, but that’s what they always say… i can’t count, all of the times i’ve been left in indecision because i’ve only got, two hands and two feet, or no-no maybe it’s three you see, now what the hell was i even talking about? Oh, yeah, that’s right i was telling you that i’m not the one to decide between burgers and fries, or even ketchup and flies why’d you ask me? Hell, i’m not even thirsty anyway! these days thoughts are too high priced i can’t afford ‘em with my blow up dolls and albino mice i’ve got needs, its called priority maybe someday i can buy ‘em, and win the lottery, oh wow! i'll be the biggest guy, but for now... everyone seems to be, so sure but me i can’t believe it, but that’s how it’s got to be and when i find, another stupid line go tell your children that they shouldn’t wonder why everyone seems to be, so sure but me it’s really simple, just take a look and see i’ve got no direction, not a single solid way no, it doesn’t seem to make sense, but that’s what they always say… don't, don't change your mind... you might think, to pride... ... ? ... think about the ...?... think about the ...?... think about the ...?... don't know what the hell i'm sayin, or even why i'm playin, indecision grabs a hold of me. grabs a hold of me... yeah,yeah,yeah. everyone seems to be, so sure but me i can’t believe it, but that’s how it’s got to be and when i find, another stupid line go tell your children that they shouldn’t wonder why everyone seems to be, so sure but me it’s really simple, just take a look and see i’ve got no direction, not a single solid way no, it doesn’t seem to make sense, but that’s what they always say.
7.
Two Steps Back 02:36
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what a fine line friendship is it could be that one day and then be this don’t wanna point the finger or put the blame, but all this back and forth and spinning’s driving me insane i’ve gotta get a hold of things once more and maybe feel like i’m not flat on the floor, because there’s only so much i can take and right now i’m about to fucking break? feel like i’m losing my mind my mind... but we never seem to be the same yeah, things always seemed to change from day to day… and all the times we tried to make amends, i guess we should have seen that we were just hand-me-down friends… yesterday has come and gone, and yet i sit right here and sing this song, i guess it seems to be too cut and dry and it’s really really silly to wonder why i could ever find something so true all wrapped up in that mess that used to be you, but things have changed, my back is sore from all those count and countless knives you’ve used before… but we never seem to be the same yeah, things always seemed to change from day to day… and all the times we tried to make amends, i guess we should have seen that we were just hand-me-down friends… we were just hand-me-down friends… we were just hand-me-down friends… we were just hand-me-down friends… two steps back, it doesn’t look the same i can see right through your fucking game and i could really even give a shit because your payment has come just like a hit to your vein straight through your heart and now your vices are tearing you apart i don’t feel a bit of slight remorse because things have seemed to run their course but we never seem to be the same only advice i have is that you stay away and maybe you’ll get by if you pretend now that i've seen and heard that you were just a hand-me-down friend stop, stop, stop , stop… stop lookin’ at me like as if you could even care.
8.
Not the Same 02:52
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here we go! do you remember a time, yeah a time we had a place to go to escape for a short time from the lies and false people? but lately it seems those lies are right among us, and it makes me sad they turned this thing i loved into another social fad… no, it’s not the same just look around, see, it’s not the same they wanna try, yeah they wanna play their games make another one fall, no, it’s not the same… But it goes to show, that all good things have an end. But still there is no reason i can comprehend why they gotta stick to us like social parasites what’s gonna be left when they’re gone, when they’re done, i guess we’ll find (out) when… Everything is said and done, and everybody’s had their fun they’ll go and find another one, i hope they turn tail and run but they could never justify, they could never just define why they gotta be that way? why don’t they just go away? …why don’t they just go away? what’s gonna be left, but a dead and stagnant scar? a shadow of what we knew, a distance from afar ‘yeah, it’s too bad’, we’ll say, ‘it used to give us truth’ but now we’ve got nothing left, so what are we supposed to do? no, it’s not the same just look around, see, it’s not the same they got to try, yeah they got to play their games made another one fall, no, it’s not the same…
9.
Let Me Down 01:56
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let's go! when i think about... all the times i laughed out loud and every single little time you came around, i gotta wipe the tears out from my eyes, turn around and look up right at the sky, well, it's something you can't understand and it's not what you thought you'd planned and it's really quite simple, if you'd see how much it meant to me don't say it, don't say it don't say it, out loud don't say it, don't say it you've gotta wait here, you've gotta let me down, you've gotta walk away you've gotta wait here, you've gotta let me down but every time i see your smilin' face, it comes and takes me right up to a better place, i gotta wait to see if i'll come down, standing still with my feet off of the ground, don't... don't say it, don't say it don't say it, no, no don't say it, don't say it you've gotta wait here, you've gotta let me down, you've gotta walk away you've gotta wait here, you've gotta let me down you've got to walk away
10.
One More Time Around 03:34
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i'm not much for small talk hums, but what can i say? and maybe i've just missed the point, but.. you gotta, you gotta, you gotta... look right past the grain to see that we're sinking back down in androgyny, we can't even stand to be face to face don't wanna belong to the human race, i i look around and see how few friends that i really have... they used to say, that we're better off this way 'no time to waste...', 'it's just the same...' and we haven't got a damn thing to say it's not about just that, it's just about the fact, that we've gone too far, we've gone too gone too far to see our trails have been covered all up with our soul-searched tales, we don't even take the time to look at a mind that is read like an open book, i i look around and see how few friends that i really have... they used to say, that we're better off this way 'no time to waste...', 'it's just the same...' and we haven't got a damn thing to say i think i'm ready for i think i'm ready for one more time around.
11.
Pointless 01:59
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well, it's times like these that i think about ending everything in mind, but maybe i'm giving too much attention to myself, and maybe thinking 'bout my past as someone else, i can't... take it anymore, my life's become a bore, and i well, i want something new cuz, i'm so damn sick of this shit, can't find a single reason why i sit here when i want to be somewhere else, 'persist in vain' , i tell myself, i i can't be someone, i can't be someone i can't be someone, why can't i be somebody else? why can't i be..., somebody else? but i know this answers nothing because every time i'll just end up where i was, i've got nothing to say, nothing to sell, 'persist in vain' , i tell myself... i can't be someone, i can't be someone i can't be someone, why can't i be somebody else? why can't i be..., somebody else? somebody else ... somebody else? you've got to see, how much this means to me, i i can't afford, to lose this time, i know that it's gonna take as much as i can make and maybe push me to the point that i break well, it's too much, yeah it's too much i can't take it! i know i, i can't be someone, i can't be someone i can't be someone, why can't i be somebody else? why can't i be..., somebody else!
12.
More to Give 02:05
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wish i had a life less ordinary wish i had some time to change or maybe its just that i wish i had, i wish i had something to do i wish i had something i wish i had something more to give wish i had something, maybe s-s-something to say just when i think i've got you now, there's just so much i don't know, well i'm beginning to start to think that maybe things aren't quite that simple wish i had a life less ordinary wish i had some time to change or maybe its just that i wish i knew what the fuck to think about all those thoughts and stories now but i think those things might worry and wish i had a life less ordinary or maybe i just wish i had something to do sometimes i sit right down and i think about those things and wonder why why everything in life has got to be sublime yeah...what is there for me? wish i had a life less ordinary wish i had some time to change or maybe its just that i wish i knew what the fuck to think about all those thoughts and stories now but i think those things might worry and wish i had a life less ordinary or maybe i just wish i had something to do i wish i had something i wish i had something, more to give i wish i had something i wish i had something, well more to give, go! i wish i had something i wish i had something more to give wish i had something, maybe s-s-something to say just when i think i've got you now, there's just so much i don't know, well i'm beginning to start to think that maybe things aren't quite that simple wish i had a life less ordinary wish i had some time to change or maybe its just that i wish i knew what the fuck to think about all those thoughts and stories now but i think those things might worry and wish i had a life less ordinary or maybe i just wish i had something to do
13.
Life Goes On 02:24
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last night i started thinkin’ ‘bout the past the short time we have, damn it goes so fast. and it seems to me that i can’t keep up, but i’ll try, try-try i won’t give up. think about the times we’ve had and i thank the stars the moon and the sun ‘cause i never felt so right yet so amiss god damn! why’s it gotta be like this? life goes on just keep o-on life goes o-o-on… just keep on! movin’ ‘cause,‘cause i can’t see no way out search in vain, but i keep spinnin’ round and round and when i finally feel like i’ve got it down i find myself in a face plant on the ground. but i get right up, dust off a bit i don’t dwell on it, or even deal with it can’t think with my mind dismembered keep my chin up, try to remember… life goes on just keep o-on life goes o-o-on... when i’m away my days are lo-ong, but it helps me out to remember i’ll be seein you before to long and when i’m there time slips away sinking in my quicksand depression, i can’t find, i can’t find the words to say… life goes on just keep o-on life goes o-o-on-hon for far to long
14.
Left Man 03:19
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yeah by now, you should have learned how far you could’ve pushed me don’t you know, you could have sent me away you could’ve sent me away but it’s far too late,yeah, it’s far too late starin’ at the wall, my face is turnin’ blue, i’ve got to get away, maybe find something new, i don’t know where to go, no place seems to be right, i’ve gotta hold on to something to get through the night you see now i have made mistakes, but not like this before i used to be able to search and find my way to the door, i don’t think i can make it, see, he’s coming again, wish i had someone to turn to, wish i had a friend no where to go, but i have got to find a better way to be i gotta get away quick before you find me i’m on the wall again i’m on the wall again, here it comes! ha, ha, ha! i’m starin’ at the wall now i think i’m gonna fall now don’t let me go too far now i think i’ve gone too far better ask yourself if you know what you’ve done because you’re here now my friend and there’s nowhere to run now take a look and think ‘bout the mistake that you made because your present situation is now here to stay i’ve got to ask myself, why? i’ve got to... (Tom goes psycho) your actions wont take you very far no where to run with your defenses left aside your body is killing you, itself from inside given up looking, never know what it is i’m certain of one thing, that it definitely isn’t this i’ve tried and i’ve died and yeah, i’ve always come up short only things that i’ve found are of this psychosomatic sort of things i could do without, of things all the same if i’ve learned one single thing, its that life is not a game i’ve got to ask myself, am i the only one? cannot be the only one i know i cannot be the only one
15.
Alone 02:34
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You find yourself out on the streets again Your life is left in ruins You can only blame yourself 'cause no one ever made you do it! Alone... you've got no place to go it's alright... you'll make it through the night now I would take you in, 'cause you're my friend, but I don't think it would help you've gone much too far, lied far too hard, turned your back on every chance! alone... you've got there on your own It's not right... you didn't put up a fight just think, 'cause if you would have tried you could have climbed up so high past the stars and the clouds we couldn't reach you but you chose to sit on your ass (you) can't admit that it was your own fault! your life... you let it pass you by it's your life... do you ever wonder why you let everything snowball, backed against your own wall running from your own responsibilities you could have at least just turned to me would have helped you see a way out! you say... things are hard when you're on your own I know... I was there every step of the way

about

The complete collection of released and unreleased Mail Order Children tracks from their EPs, 7 inches and demos arranged in reverse chronological order from 1998 to 1996.

credits

released May 1, 2015

Vocals – Tom
Drums – Luke
Bass + Vocals – Chuck
Guitar – Andy
Trumpet – Jake
Alto Saxophone – Travis
Tenor Saxophone – Phaedra
Baritone Saxophone – Cameron

Studio Drums (tracks 1-4) – Colin

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Mail Order Children Boulder, Colorado

MOC was an 8-piece ska-punk band playing at the height of the "Third Wave Ska" explosion from 1996-1998. Based in Boulder, CO they opened for prominent bands such as Mephiskapheles, Less Than Jake and The Toasters, recorded tracks at The Blasting Room and amazingly survived a US tour in a converted 1970's school bus. ... more

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